Wednesday 5 November 2014

'Bollocks' linked with You Forgot the Birds

A new campaigning group has been set up this week in response to anti-RSPB (and apparently pro-bloodsport) lobby You Forgot the Birds.

Arthur Balsam, spokesman for newly formed You Forgot the Purdeys, commented “At first, we didn’t think it was even worth bothering to respond to You Forgot the Birds. But once we’d had a gander at their website, double-checked that we weren’t looking at the spookily similar Songbird Survival pages, and stopped laughing at their numerous groundless and scientifically-flawed assertions, we realised that perhaps some sort of response was in order.

“So we’re providing a forum for birders and the general public alike, for anyone who isn’t credulous and hard of thinking, for anyone who thinks that You Forgot the Birds celebrity spokesman Ian Botham should have stuck to cricket commentary and left the ecology to actual ecologists, and for anyone who’s taken more than a cursory glance at You Forgot the Birds’ website and laughed so much they did a little wee in their pants.

“You’re all welcome to join us. In particular we’d welcome any former international cricketers called Ian who don’t happen to run a commercial shoot from their home in North Yorkshire and hence don’t have a spectacular conflict of interest when hinting that raptor control would benefit pretty little songbirds like Chaffinchs whilst, coincidentally, also being precisely what most grouse and pheasant shoots appear to think is for the best”.

In 2007 former Australian cricket captain Ian Chappell observed, “There are many skeletons dangling in Botham's cupboard, ranging from stories of drug-taking to general thuggery, and if he keeps peddling his lies, there's every chance more of these stories will emerge".

Arthur Balsam concluded, “Mr Chappell would be a fine figurehead for our campaign. I bet, for example, his Twitter feed has never featured a photo of a penis, nor that he’s had to explain said dick away by claiming his Twitter account had been hacked...

“Perhaps someone would like to post a photo of some testicles on the You Forgot the Birds Twitter feed?

“#bollocks”.

1 comment:

  1. It seems that more forgotten birds are coming to light. With 4 male hen harriers gone missing in the past three weeks. As sir Ian bothem says dont forget the birds. But I dont want my birds to be a forgotten memory I want them to be a part of MY countryside.

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