Wednesday, 8 October 2014

UK400Club members call for day of rage

Members of the niche birdspotters clique the UK400Club today called for a ‘day of rage’ this coming Friday to highlight the continued devaluation of all the onetime blockers on their collective lists.

It is believed that the recent upsurge in numbers of Siberian Rubythroats has proven a tipping point for the reclusive, shy and retiring founder of the UK400Club and its shadowy political wing the British Birdwatching Association, Lee Evans. Whilst typically unavailable for comment this week, it is understood that Mr Evans and his followers are dismayed at the continued and baffling popularity of twitching, the name given to the hobby of travelling around Britain and the conveniently adjacent and English-speaking Ireland to see rare birds, and the ease with which new twitchers can 'tick' previously exclusive rare birds on their lists.

Arthur Balsam, a twitcher from Basingstoke who’s been birding since the 1970s said, “I reckon yet another long-staying and reliable male Siberian Rubythroat in Shetland was the straw that broke the camel’s back for Lee. Bad enough that Red-flanked Bluetails suddenly got common, but after slating the provenance of the Osmington Mills rubythroat Lee surely thought he’d done everything to protect the sanctity of the previous rubythroat records.

“Turns out he was wrong. And now every man and his dog has had a chance to catch up with a Siberian Rubythroat, and they’re being talked about as “annual Shetland padders” on Birdforum. Which means it must be true.

“Next thing we all know there’s going to be a run of Little Whimbrels and Hudsonian Godwits, and then we’ll have literally nothing left to be smug about.”

Quite what form the day of rage will take remains unclear, but early indications are that it may involve some furious bitching, sly backstabbing, outrageous exaggeration and bare-faced lying.

“I’m not sure how we’ll know the difference from how we usually carry on,” added a worried Mr Balsam.

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